Secret Government Illegal Ninja Moves

So, we are very pleased with the popularity of our article How to Get Secret Ninja Moves from the Government and assume it is working well for those that try it out. There is a problem though, it is very specific to the United States of America, and of little use to our readers elsewhere.
What could we do? An idea! We'll approach another government and see how possible it is get similar information from them. After many minutes of research we identified the government of the United Kingdom of Great Britain and Northern Ireland as our target. Their open and honest (no sniggering at the back, please) government was just what we needed. Indeed the No. 10 Downing Street website provides the ability to petition the Prime Minister, The Right Honourable Gordon Brown, directly.
Here is the text of the petition we submitted:

We the undersigned petition the Prime Minister to: 'Reveal the Secret Government Illegal Ninja Moves'

Revealing your secret illegal ninja tactics can only aid the common man in his daily struggle against lawlessness and anti-social behaviour. Revealing this information would free up your secret ninjas for work abroad. You would not be setting a precedent, web sites such as wikihowl.com already provide the means to request the American equivalent from their government.

And the reply from 10 Downing Street?

I'm sorry to inform you that your petition has been rejected.

Your petition was classed as being in the following categories:

* Intended to be humorous, or has no point about government
policy

Hmm, obviously a conspiracy. Back to the drawing board...