Wednesday, January 14, 2009

Decidedly Alarming, Perilous and Downright Deleterious

Forget the Resolutions already. It is January 13th now (in some parts of the wikiHowl universe, anyway) so most people have probably already given up on them. I know that I have, most certainly--or I would have, had I bothered to make any resolutions for 2009. The battle against chocolate, for one, grows trickier as modern day life waxes more convenient, so resolutions in that department are now futile as they are so very hard to keep. I was browsing over at wikiHow, looking for our next set of funny how-to articles, and I stumbled upon something which presents a high level of risk to me personally.

Mr. Dave, you KNOW I am sunk when I find a wikiHow which tells me there is a way to bake a cake-----in five minutes. Yup. You put the ingredients in a coffee mug of all things, mix it up a little, and you pop that sucker right into the microwave. In no time flat, you've got cake-------not just any cake, mind you-------but a CHOCOLATE cake. Five minutes! With household ingredients, things you would be fairly likely to have on hand in your kitchen. That is decidedly alarming, perilous and downright deleterious. A whole cake baked in a coffee mug, can you imagine! No wonder some people are calling this nasty invention the world's most dangerous cake. It is not funny Dave, not one bit. And that is why our readers will never read about the five minute cake at wikiHowl. The closest they will get is fried food, which is pretty safe, because that is not even close to being chocolate.

I am going to rely on just one thing to save me, Dave, and that is my failing memory. May I forget all about this recipe I just ran into in my reckless ride through the cybersphere. Thank goodness I have become so very old.

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