Thursday, July 23, 2009

wikiHowl's Crystal Ball

Dave, remember our brainstorming session? When just after the new year we kicked back and thought about what we could do in the face of an invasion of giant squid. Or something. You know, just in case such a thing would actually happen a few months later. In the summertime. That led to us combing the archives of wikiHow to see if they had anything on the matter. And they did. At the time. Someone had written all about how to fend off a Giant Squid! So we rescued the article and threw it up on our pages for posterity because wikiHow does not keep that kind of article around. For long.

And sure enough, soon after that, a veritable swarm of aggressive 5-foot-long sea monsters with razor-sharp beaks and toothy tentacles took a swim up to San Diego from where they had been congregating off the Mexico coast. Doubtless, many (perhaps BOTH!) of our California readers have read the article and have gotten hold of a "A solid gold blessed harpoon". That is what our article says you need to be successful in your bid for protection against the California invading Humboldt Giant Squid. After all, they can grow up to the size of 100 pounds, down there in the deep waters off Mexico, where they have been known to attack humans. So you need a nice big weapon, and gold is all the rage these days anyway.

Ooh, Dave! I keep forgetting we are a humor site, so this article might not actually work. Shall we just tell our SoCal readers to stay out of the water?

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